Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Randomize
