I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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