did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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