I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
