9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
