we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
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APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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