What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
