in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize