I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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