he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
