In the future we'll all be gay
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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