Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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