kristin has been a bad kristin
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
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I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
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what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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