im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
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We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
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You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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