i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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