are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
