so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
