I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
