woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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