oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
