i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
