I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
