the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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