I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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