just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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