You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
