when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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