And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
