She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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