so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
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