I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize