last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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