In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize