i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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