Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
