Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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