i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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