i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
