If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
