Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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