Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize