I want to walk on stilts...naked
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
