I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
