he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
