Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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