you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i came on her dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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