It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
