I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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