Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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