my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
How does one acquire holy water?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
