Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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