Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
