Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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