i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize