You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
