The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
