I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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