Christians are straight up FREAKS
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
