you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
worst night to have a conscience
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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