its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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