I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
